Random Musings

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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, United States

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


I’ve found myself in an unusual situation, and this time, “unusual” means something good. You see, I’ve had a wish come true. And that’s a very good thing this time.
You’re asking, “This time? Isn't that always good?” Well, no. It’s not. You see this has happened once before. Twice now in my life, I have met a girl who was the exact incarnation of what I wished for. You know when you sit there thinking of, if you were able to snag God’s sneakers and wear them for ten minutes, the girl you would create to be the absolute most perfect girl for yourself? Well it has happened twice now. No, I’m not just saying that I was in love, I mean really, exactly, down to the smallest detail. To a degree chance just doesn’t account for. The first one was Jules.
I had just finished the first year of law school when I met Jules. I’d been wishing to find a girl who was beautiful, with angular features, a perfect body, feminine, but buff as well, intelligent, strong, but with a dark and tormented artist’s soul; wild, and spiritual, and passionate. I found exactly that. And she nearly destroyed me. I was another person before I endured all that, and I learned a great deal. One of the things I have since decided is that being granted my greatest wish was a test. A test to see if what I’m evolved enough to really know what I want. That first test I most clearly failed. I was granted my wish, given what I wanted, and it was not what I needed. I think people don’t realize that the closer something gets to being exactly what you want, without being exactly what you want, the more dangerous it is to you.
Just over ten years have passed since the day I met Jules. I’ve learned and changed a great deal since then. And now, it has happened again. I’ve been granted my wish. The image that I have developed over all my years of dating, carefully sculpted and adjusted from what I’ve learned with each relationship, has now taken life and knocked on my door. And it’s scary. Not because I think this one will destroy me again; but rather because this time I think she’s the right one.
I really do believe that being given what you want is a true test of your soul – it will make you immensely happy if you’re evolved enough to know what to wish for. But if you don’t, it will make you suffer. This time I think I wished for what was right, and I think (hope) she did too. I’m in love. And her name is Ann-Marie.