Sometimes You Get What You Need.

For a long time now I've been going through hell to regain my solitude. And now I have it. With everything it took to get here, it should be something happy, but its made me even sadder. It took a lot for me to ask my wife to leave. I did not take it lightly, and yet despite everything I still love her. It's once they're gone, once you've done what you knew had to be done, that you can stop, let down the walls, and allow yourself to feel. Three months I've been keeping the walls up so her emotional barrages wouldn't force me to take the easy way out and get back together. Finally she's gone, and I can be sad to see her go, and miss her, even after wishing for her to be gone. Its a strange sort of thing to wish for two opposite things with such force. It's been five years since I've been alone; I used to be good alone, happy, but now it will take getting used to again. I haven't the slightest doubt that it was the right thing. But I miss her.