The Secret of Kraft

You know, if there was one thing I could tell all the females, of the world, it would probably be something about how good I am in bed and my phone number. But if I could say two things, the other would be to inform them that cheese of all kinds is readily available at the supermarket. You don’t need any kind of password or special connection to get it. Just buy it. I have never understood why my female roommates and neighbors always come to my refrigerator and consume all the cheese like a plague of locusts. They act as if my refrigerator is a secret treasure trove of cheese, available nowhere else.
So that is my message to the women of the world.
“Call me.”
And
“Buy your own God damn cheese!”